Grumpy

I am grumpy today.

I had my smoothie for breakfast and lunch and feel fine hunger-wise.  But, I just want to ease the grump I am feeling tonight by diving into a bag of candy. I am back to work this week and while the staff is amazing and I love my work environment, it's definitely more stress than sitting at home puttering around and enjoying the lazy days of summer.

That's not to mention the five dozen doughnuts and boxes of popsicles that have been floating around the staff room since the first day.  I'm proud of myself for not giving into the temptation but I am grumpy that I have to deny it to myself because I know I can't handle it.  It's a slippery slope for me and I know if I slip, it's very hard to get back on track.

I know days like this happen and I need to develop mental strategies to help me get through them.

Two weeks

Today is the start of week three.

I am down another 5.6lbs for a two week total of 16.2lbs.  While in reality I know this is a really good result for two weeks, I was hoping for a little more this week.  That's half my problem.  I get amazing results the first week and want to see that kind of number every single week and feel like I could have done more if I don't.

I need to start training my brain to accept a loss as a loss and acknowledge that it's a positive thing.  I won't see 10lb losses every week.  It's just not realistic.  My goal for the next week is another 5lbs loss and to drink at least two litres of water a day in addition to my green smoothies.

Back to work today.  Now the organization will come into play.

Confessional

I did it.  I cheated.

I have been toying with the idea of having one 'cheat' meal every two weeks.  I felt like if  allowed myself something to look forward to, then I could stay committed to the plan because I knew I only needed to get to day 'X' in order to have something that I was craving.

I went to the local grocery store today with two things on my mind - I needed another pineapple and maybe I'd grab a pizza.  I had promised myself that I would only get a cheese pizza so that way I could throw some of my own vegetables on top when I got home. I was there with friends and one asked me if I really wanted to buy that pizza.  I surprised myself when I answered no.  And I meant it.

Once I got home and started cleaning around the house, I was struck with a craving for pasta. This one wasn't the same as me thinking about the pizza.  The pizza I think was more me wondering if I needed to allow myself that treat.  The pasta craving, though?  Completely different.  I can't really describe why it happened and how it was different than wanting the pizza, but I felt like I needed a bowl of pasta NOW.

So, I promised myself that I would have just half a cup of macaroni, a blended tomato for sauce, and some shredded cheese and that would be that.  I stuck to the serving size but I can 100%, without an ounce of hesitation say that it wasn't worth it. It tasted like glue to me. I only ate half of what was in my bowl before I'd convinced myself that if I wasn't enjoying it the way I thought I would, why finish eating it?  Within 5 minutes of eating the pasta, I had really painful pains in my stomach.  I have been eating carrot and celery sticks and fruit in the last two weeks outside of the smoothies, so I know it wasn't just because I hadn't had solid food.  The pain lasted about 10 solid minutes.  I had to get up and find something to do around the house to keep my mind off of it.  They did ease off and I feel okay again now.

Holy cow, is that ever a wake-up call!?  I don't feel any of the satisfaction that I thought I would and I can feel the pasta just sitting like a lump in my stomach.  I don't like this feeling.  I have gotten used to the feeling of lightness after finishing my meals of raw, plant-based food.  I can't believe that I used to do this to myself all the time.  Sometimes more than once a day.

They say it takes 21 days of doing something until it becomes a habit.  I think these green smoothies have gotten into my system a lot more quickly than that. I've been trying to counter the pasta by drinking an extra large (with extra spinach) smoothie.  Lesson learned.

The New Favourite

I made myself a new green smoothie yesterday for dinner and it's easily now my favourite that I've tried so far.

It tasted like Jamaica to me, which is helpful since my upcoming trip to Jamaica is what really motivated me to hop on this green smoothie wagon in the first place.

This will be one that I keep coming back to again and again.  It was so yummy.

Tropical Green
2c spinach
1/4 fresh pineapple, cut into chunks
1 banana
1/2 avocado
1 1/2c of mango chunks

Blend the spinach with about 2 c of water then add the rest of the ingredients and blend on high for about 20 seconds.

On another note, I have found that sticking to the green smoothies has made me more paranoid about my teeth.  While we're eating healthy foods, I'm worried that the amount of citrus or sugar from fruit could cause damage so I'm brushing way more often than I did before starting.

Grocery Day

Ever wonder what the fridge of someone living a raw, vegan diet looks like? No?  Me either until I started the green smoothie challenge.

Our groceries arrived today.  I am disappointed with the bags of spinach.  Only about 60% of them are salvageable.  This is one of the major roadblocks we'll be faced with as we continue on this journey.  It's really difficult to get quality produce here.  If you buy it in town, the price is astronomical.  If you order it from the South, you run the risk of it being ruined in the shipping process.

We'll make do with what we have available and hope for the best.

Last night, a friend came over to visit and I popped some popcorn so that I didn't feel like such an awful hostess.  I know it's not raw but I rationalized it by saying that corn is a vegetable, so it's not as bad.  I ate it without salt, butter, or anything added.  I suppose it's better than the chips, peanuts, chocolate, and cookies I would have put on two weeks ago.

Logistically Speaking

Now that I feel I have the hard part under my belt, I've started thinking about what happens next and how I can best make this new lifestyle fit with my life.

I am a teacher and will be heading back to the classroom in the middle of next week.  That gives me a few days to organize how I'm going to continue with smoothies while I am working.  Right now, I drink about 60oz of green smoothie three times a day.  I make a container full at breakfast and drink it throughout the morning.  I do the same at lunch and again in the evening.  Being back at work will mean some organizing.

As of now, I plan to make my green smoothie in the morning and try to drink half of it before I go to work.  I will put the other half in a sealable jug and put it in the fridge at work and then at recess time, I'll fill my smoothie container and try to get the rest done before I'm back in the classroom.  It'll take some juggling on my behalf because I'm not used to leaving my end of the school for the office during recess.

I have always found in the past that I hit a wall at around 3:30pm or so as well.  I hope to bring back enough green smoothie that I'll have that to use when I have meetings and such at the end of the day.

I also have a week in September when I will be over in Iqaluit working on a committee that I am part of.  I do have a Magic Bullet, so maybe I'll start doing some test runs now in that to see if it would be reasonable to use it for the week while traveling.

What do other people do when their traveling and trying to eat a raw, vegan diet?  How do you get around the expected dinners with colleagues?  Hmmmm......I'll have to think on that one more.

Support Systems

With the first week done and over with, I feel like I am getting stronger.  The feeling of being sick has passed and I feel like I have tons of energy and am alert.  My nails have always been pretty healthy but they're growing faster than I've ever remembered.  We have about 130 days or so until we leave for Jamaica, so I really do feel like this is something that I can do.  I haven't really thought about how we'll approach both my husband's and my birthdays (which both happen before the end of the 60 day challenge) but we have a few weeks to sort that out.

I have approached this change in lifestyle differently than I have approached other attempts at healthier eating in the past.  This time, I have secured a support system around me that will help to keep me on track.  I've told my friends and family what I'm doing.  I've gone pretty public by creating this blog and then sharing it on my social media networks.  Not much will keep you in line but everyone you know in real life or on the internet knowing that you've made this kind of commitment.

The biggest difference for me this time is that my husband is also following the challenge.  He's always been supportive of my past attempts but we have approached healthy eating from different angles before this.  Having him doing the exact same thing is really the game changer this time, I think.

I've been toying with the idea of allowing myself a 'cheat meal' every two weeks.  Right now, I'm feeling strong and don't feel like I need it, but I am not delusional enough to think that I'm going to get through 60 days without feeling the need to have a meal that would be considered a cheat.  I'm going to leave it for now because I'm not at that point, but it isn't something I'd rule out 100% in the future.

With regards to smoothie-ing, I have come across a new combination that is easily one of my favourites.  I use two cups of spinach, three cups of water, one banana, a cup of green grapes, and a cup of frozen peach slices.  The taste is so fresh and light I could drink it all day long and not get bored.

Drumroll, please...

Today was the official weigh in for week one.  I am the type of person who is highly motivated by numbers.  I have tried every fad diet that exists and if I don't post a large number in the first week, I know it's not going to be something I stick with.

I am very excited to report that I lost a total of 10.6lbs in week one.  The goal I had set for myself was to lose 40lbs by the end of the 60 day challenge and this is a fantastic start.  A tiny bit over 26% of the way there!  I know that first week loses are usually larger than the following weeks, and I'm okay with that.  But this is just what I needed in order to feel motivated enough to be just as committed for week two.

I had a non-scale victory yesterday as well.  I'm trying to keep reminding myself that these victories are just as important as the weight loss.  I had to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things we needed.  Last month, they opened a Tim Horton's kiosk in our local store.  I love ice caps and I love honey crullers even more.  As I passed by the kiosk, the baker came out and added a freshly baked tray of the crullers.  I would have given anything for one of those doughnuts.  Anything except losing track of what I'm trying to accomplish.  So, I didn't indulge.

All in all, a great week.

Is there such a thing as TOO much energy?

It's Monday.  That means that tomorrow will be the one week mark.  I'm 10% of the way there.  If I keep focused on those small things, I find it easier than thinking about the big picture.

I feel better.  The beginning of the week was rough and I wasn't sure if feeling that sick was worth the benefits of eating raw and greens for that long.  Everything I'd read said that you have to deal with a few days of flu-like symptoms, but I guess I didn't think I'd be one of them.  I feel like I'm over the hump and on the other side.

I have noticed a difference in my energy levels, probably since day 4.  I wake up in the morning and feel ready to get out of bed.  I am getting things done around the house instead of talking about what I need to get done.  I feel more alert.  I've been in a better mood.  All good things.  However, what I have noticed is that the energy and alertness is making it more difficult to fall asleep at night.  I cannot get my mind to stop racing.  It bounces around from one topic to another and no matter how many of the strategies I've tried to quiet my mind, they don't really seem to work.  I tossed and turned for hours last night.

Many people have been asking me about groceries and how I'm going to make that work.  We live in a remote, Northern community in Canada.  There are no roads in or out and the only way to get here is to fly.  We have several grocery stores in town, but we pay exorbitant amounts for fresh fruit and vegetables here.  It's gotten a little better in the last year or so, but not by much.  We are using a company that is based out of Winnipeg (Arctic Connections) to send us our groceries through the airline's cargo department.  I go to their website, pick the fruits and vegetables that I want, send them a list and they do the shopping for us.  They bring it to the airlines and we go pick it up when it arrives.  Before we started, we placed a $350+ order for vegetables and fruit (both fresh and frozen).  This week's order was less than $200.  Considering what we were spending on groceries before we started this challenge (junk food is $$$ here), I think we'll actually come out having saved money from eating this healthy.  No more $10 bottles of pop and $7 bags of chips or $14 tubs of ice cream.

I had to run to one of the stores today to pick up a couple things we need until our order comes in on the plane. I bought a bag of spinach, three romaine lettuce hearts, some celery, two bunches of kale, a bunch of bananas, and a piece of ginger root.  This small amount cost..................wait for it..........

a whopping $34.74!

Tomorrow I hope to update with my first week's weigh in results.

Mind Games

I have been thinking a lot about what happens once the 60 day challenge is over.  I know that sixty days isn't anywhere near close to what I will need to be at a place where I am satisfied with my health.  I've been doing a lot of reading and am unsure where this will take me, but I'm along for the ride.

I think for me the biggest challenge with changing my eating habits is going to have to be a complete shift in thinking.  Six years ago, I lost a lot of weight following the Weight Watchers plan.  I counted every point, I weighed my food, and I stayed the course.  Over an eight month duration, I lost 85+ lbs.  I looked great and I felt great.  Slowly, over the next few years, I regained the weight.  I blamed it on where I live and the difficulty in getting fresh fruits and vegetables regularly.  I made excuses for not exercising ("It's too cold" and "There's no gym in town").  I convinced myself that maybe some people were just born to be overweight and I was one of them.  In short, I allowed my body to convince my mind that it was better to stay the way I am.

This time, I am really focusing on fixing that way of thinking.  While I was very successful on the WW program, I manipulated it to my liking instead of looking at what I was putting in my mouth.  While I wasn't gorging on junk food any more, I was still having treats on a daily basis, just finding a way to 'Weight Watcher-ize' them.  I didn't eat an ice cream sandwich for dessert, but I did take two chocolate wafer cookies, put fat-free Cool Whip in the middle, and freeze them. Two of those little treats were only 3 points!  I did this for all kinds of things - taking my own popcorn to the movies, eating the 100 calorie chocolate bars and snacks, freezing low-fat pudding so it tasted like ice cream. And it worked.  I was proof of it.

Looking back at it now, though, I can see that I never changed my eating habits at all really.  I had replaced bad foods with lighter versions of bad foods.  The problem with that is you constantly compare it to the original version.  Some of the treats were great but they always fell short of the real thing.  For me, that meant I was always thinking about the real thing.  I never really got out of the habit of reaching for something bad over something that was healthy for me in its natural state.

Which leads me to where I am today.  Back at the starting line and trying to put in a different type of effort.  I want my brain to be rewired to crave the food that is good for my body.  I'm tired of the processed foods, even the 'lighter' versions.  I want my body to crave food to fuel it and that's all.  I hope by recognizing it, it's the first step towards real change.

With regards to the green smoothies, yesterday was a good day.  For kicks, I put my food into My Fitness Pal last night to get an idea of where I am calorie-wise.  I'm eating about 1500-1600 calories a day with only fruits and vegetables.  I didn't think that was possible.  I am going a little over in my goal for grams of sugar a day.  Right now, I need the sweetness the fruit provides to ease into this transition. I hope to decrease the amount of fruit in each smoothie a little bit over the next week until I am hitting my target.

Happy weekend!

What I Know For Sure ....I Think

Day 4

As promised, I said yesterday I would update about the avocado in smoothies. Avocado mixed with spinach, blueberries, and mango = yummy. Avocado mixed with spinach, banana, and strawberries = not so yummy. It's so strange how a fruit can add so much to one smoothie but completely ruin another one completely. As a verdict, though, I really enjoy the texture that avocado gives the drink. It really is like a more yougurt-based drink.

What I also learned yesterday was that my dislike of kale wasn't a one-off. It's bitter and a weird consistency when blended. I think I'll stick to spinach, lettuce, and mixed greens, thank you very much.

I am finding each day getting easier. I did all of my prep work before we started, which means all the fruit was cut up and frozen, I blended half my spinach with water and froze them so when I want a cold smoothie I just throw those in, and I turned a corner of our kitchen counter into a 'smoothie station'. It has taken the throught process out of making meals.

Before starting I would spend half my day wondering what I was going to cook for dinner and the other half preparing it. That doesn't work, and it's often half the reason I was eating the way I was. Throwing a pork roast covered in spices from a package and bottled barbeque sauce into the slow cooker to have with buns would be way easier than making everything from scratch. This is part of the change I'm trying to make permanently for us. While we've set our 'challenge' for 60 days, once that is over, my goal is to continue on with no processed foods. I don't want to live a vegan life forever (I enjoy meat too much for that), I do want to make healthier choices out of habit instead of it always being a conscious effort. I firmly believe that once you hit a goal weight (which is a huge motivator for me) that you can eat healthy 90% of the time, allowing yourself to indulge a little the other times and maintain your health. Part of the mental shift for me has to be to reverse those numbers. It can't be 90% bad foods and 10% healthy.

Another fun positive that I have noticed in the last few days is that we have less dishes to do! We have a dishwasher and usually by the end of the day it was full and we were pulling things back out that we needed. I always tried to do pots and pans by hand, which was a pain. Now we're using two glasses (that we rinse after each smoothie), a cutting board, and a knife. The Vitamix is amazing in that it pretty much cleans itself with a cup of water and a drop of dish soap and turned on high for a minute. I can get used to the decrease in time spent organizing the kitchen.

On the downside, my face has a few blemishes, which doesn't happen often for me anymore. I assume that it's part of the detoxification my body is going through. On the other hand (heh), I cannot believe how fast my fingernails are growing. I love nail polish and am constantly doing my nails. I put polish on them on day one and I noticed this morning that I'll have to change it today because the nails have grown so fast there is a noticeable gap. Healthier, stronger nails will motivate me any day!

Is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable? My enemy, the avocado.

Today is officially day three.  I say officially because for two days before our official start, we had started with the green smoothies, but we were eating other (processed) foods too.  Both my husband and I are not feeling 100%, but if you read his post, it explains why we're both feeling this way.  Although, I do feel better today than I did at the end of day one.  I'm giving myself about a week or so. Considering how hard my body is going to have to work to get rid of the junk I've been putting in it, a week seems like a fair compromise.

Todays dilemma surrounds the fruit (it is a fruit, right? It has a seed.), avocado. This is a food that I have heard so many good things about.  Good fats, essential this and that, blah, blah, blah.  I have tried it so many different ways and have never managed to acquire a taste for it.  I frequent a forum where the ladies there are always talking about the delicious recipes they make using it but it never seems to work for me. I'm pretty basic when it comes to fruit and vegetables.  Yesterday's kale experience makes me hesitate all the more.  I have made it my mission to incorporate this little green foreign food into at least 3 smoothies a week.

But how?

I've set off on an internet hunt to find a flavour of fruit that will best compliment the taste of avocado.  From what I have read, the avocado in a green smoothie will give it a creamy texture, the kind you get when you put yogurt into a smoothie.  From what I have found, the most common combinations is avocado and blueberry or mango.  Luckily, I have both in my freezer.  I wonder which will be better?  I wonder what would happen if I added both?

I'll be sure to report back tomorrow with my results.

As for so far today, I really enjoyed my breakfast smoothie.  I used 2 cups of spinach, 1 cup of frozen green grapes, half a cucumber, 2 granny smith apples, and a banana.  The cucumber really gave it a clean, fresh taste.  I think this will be one I use again and again.

Here's what it looks like ready to drink.  That canister is enough for both Will and I to have two smoothies each throughout the morning before lunch. There's no denying that green smoothies are aptly named!