Mind Games

I have been thinking a lot about what happens once the 60 day challenge is over.  I know that sixty days isn't anywhere near close to what I will need to be at a place where I am satisfied with my health.  I've been doing a lot of reading and am unsure where this will take me, but I'm along for the ride.

I think for me the biggest challenge with changing my eating habits is going to have to be a complete shift in thinking.  Six years ago, I lost a lot of weight following the Weight Watchers plan.  I counted every point, I weighed my food, and I stayed the course.  Over an eight month duration, I lost 85+ lbs.  I looked great and I felt great.  Slowly, over the next few years, I regained the weight.  I blamed it on where I live and the difficulty in getting fresh fruits and vegetables regularly.  I made excuses for not exercising ("It's too cold" and "There's no gym in town").  I convinced myself that maybe some people were just born to be overweight and I was one of them.  In short, I allowed my body to convince my mind that it was better to stay the way I am.

This time, I am really focusing on fixing that way of thinking.  While I was very successful on the WW program, I manipulated it to my liking instead of looking at what I was putting in my mouth.  While I wasn't gorging on junk food any more, I was still having treats on a daily basis, just finding a way to 'Weight Watcher-ize' them.  I didn't eat an ice cream sandwich for dessert, but I did take two chocolate wafer cookies, put fat-free Cool Whip in the middle, and freeze them. Two of those little treats were only 3 points!  I did this for all kinds of things - taking my own popcorn to the movies, eating the 100 calorie chocolate bars and snacks, freezing low-fat pudding so it tasted like ice cream. And it worked.  I was proof of it.

Looking back at it now, though, I can see that I never changed my eating habits at all really.  I had replaced bad foods with lighter versions of bad foods.  The problem with that is you constantly compare it to the original version.  Some of the treats were great but they always fell short of the real thing.  For me, that meant I was always thinking about the real thing.  I never really got out of the habit of reaching for something bad over something that was healthy for me in its natural state.

Which leads me to where I am today.  Back at the starting line and trying to put in a different type of effort.  I want my brain to be rewired to crave the food that is good for my body.  I'm tired of the processed foods, even the 'lighter' versions.  I want my body to crave food to fuel it and that's all.  I hope by recognizing it, it's the first step towards real change.

With regards to the green smoothies, yesterday was a good day.  For kicks, I put my food into My Fitness Pal last night to get an idea of where I am calorie-wise.  I'm eating about 1500-1600 calories a day with only fruits and vegetables.  I didn't think that was possible.  I am going a little over in my goal for grams of sugar a day.  Right now, I need the sweetness the fruit provides to ease into this transition. I hope to decrease the amount of fruit in each smoothie a little bit over the next week until I am hitting my target.

Happy weekend!